On Being Many: A Shapeshifter's Reflections

The Liondrake(s)

January 19, 2026

As opposed to any new speculations, I've decided to take a step back and look at the experiences I currently have as an alterhuman. I’m somewhat satisfied since I finally came around to making a list of my 'types. It's not as lengthy as my original rentry, and that's likely because I gave myself some time to reflect. In between writings, it may seem like introspection is all that I do. I admit I have a tendency to put myself under a microscope, but I just live as I am when I’m not posting anything on here or Dreamwidth.

If anything, I'd say I get way too deep in my own head. Self-doubt is usually to blame. Because I’m a lot of things at once, I still question if these experiences are "legitimate". I know that they are, and contextually, I’m not in any minority regarding alterhumans with multiple ‘types. Even so, I still feel that creeping feeling of illegitimacy, like I should expect to be questioned or should question myself when that’s not necessary at all. I pack on more pressure than needed, and that’s the part I hate the most about introspection. I’m always harder on myself after the fact.

How will this hold up in the long run?

Am I right in my assessment, or am I going to realize something else later on?

What if I’m having another episode and can’t differentiate between that and how I usually feel?

Sometimes, people are their own worst critics. I’m among those who are. I can never stay in a single lane. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to. I have one collective species, but said species is followed by dozens of animals, plants, people, concepts and a couple of objects that are also me. Because this species is capable of being anyone or anything, that complicates any sort of singularity in my identity. I’m always a shapeshifter, but I’m never just a shapeshifter. I’m always a shapeshifter, and someone or something else.

I struggle with using “form/s” as a descriptor for my experiences because it feels so impersonal, but if I need to get a point across, I’ll turn to it. Taking on a ‘type’s form is a part of it, of course, but I am throughly who or what I shapeshift into. It’s not like putting on and taking off clothes, where it’s only presentation. I’m a fully integrated shapeshifter, therefore I’m fully integrated as every experience included in that. I am every “form”, and every “form” is me. I may have my doubts, but I truly can’t imagine being any other way.

How I experience shapeshifting is rather particular too. Although I technically could be anyone or anything, my shapeshifting isn’t fluid as one would assume. I have many forms, yes, but I can’t change into them at will. Forms just happen. In the case of including new forms, I can choose who or what I want to be in that context (ex: otherlinking), but I still can’t choose when I shapeshift into that form.

I also can’t bring myself to genuinely be certain things. For example: I know for sure that I’m not any sort of aquatic person or creature. While some shapeshifters have no issue assuming any form, whether they identify that way or not, my forms are only counted if I feel like I wholeheartedly am or have been those things to some extent. Experience is key. Because of this, some linktypes are harder to implement into my identity since they lack that kind of connection. There’s a few linktypes that eventually did become a part of me, such as being a Redguard or being Nahash, but that’s never a guarantee.

Recurring qualities between my forms, specifically my fictotypes, also come up in my shapeshifting. A few examples include: magic (usually witchcraft but not always), wish-granting, knowledge as a virtue, sun and/or moon symbolism, involvement in parallel worlds, dimensions or timelines, a basis in some sort of mythology (be it earthen or fictional), and experiencing fantasy as the norm of one’s circumstances. Visually recurring qualities exist in the form of lions (usually with wings), horses (usually with human traits), and color associations with gold or purple. While having these characteristics isn’t a requirement, it’s uncommon for an experience to be as present as the others if it doesn’t have at least one of these qualities.

I don’t know how I came to have these specific threads in my identity. I think they make sense from a broad perspective, given the fixation I had on fantasy fiction as a child and the fact that said genre went onto being the foundation of my identity. For experiences I didn’t intentionally create and implement into this identity, I’m not sure how they came to intersect nor how I came to have them all— be it collectively in the life I live now or in parallel to this life. I’m not even sure how I came to be a shapeshifter, but I knew upon joining this community that having only one experience didn’t apply to me. I initially thought myself to be two things: an angel and a werewolf, both of which were wrong. However, I was right in the sense that my relationship with species was a fluid one. As time went on, I’ve identified as polykin/polytherian, then as a polymorph, and now as a shapeshifter. In the same way a lot of folks can’t fathom having more than one ‘type, let alone more than two or three of them, I can’t fathom just being one thing. I’m always whoever or whatever I currently experience being in tandem with being a shapeshifter.

I liken myself to a mosaic. At first glance, you can see the bigger picture that I’m a shapeshifter. I am someone who can appear as anyone or anything by definition, so surely that’s the gist of it right? Well, not quite. If you look a little closer, you’ll find every single detail that defines my experience as a shapeshifter. If one detail is missing or overlooked, I’ve lost myself in a way.

This may be my overall species, but I am everything encompassed within it. On many occasions, I am a witch, an arcanist, or some sort of mage. On others, I am the familiar of a mage in the form of a winged lion and serving as either their guardian (Kerberos) or their means to an end (The Winged Lion). I am magitech, powered by the wishes and dreams of those around me. I am one of many who experience the unending canvas that is draconity, be it as a literal dragon or a draconic aircraft. I am the union between humanity and nonhumanity under the scope of myths and legends. I am a shapeshifter, and I am so much more underneath.